Big Sis Presents: ‘The More You Know,’ The Better

After a brief hiatus, Zack Morris Cell Phone is Back with a brand-new invention…by Big Sis!

The first time I was offered a joint at the tender age of 17, I must admit I was a bit flattered. Finally, somebody thought I was “dope” enough to be the kind of person who would smoke it! But I politely declined the offer. Why? Because I was not going to punk out on Nancy Reagan like that. Yet worse, I feared the wrath of Mr. T:

Back in the ’80s and ’90s, you couldn’t watch 10 minutes of kid- or teen-geared TV programming without some celebrity riding your @$$ about staying away from drugs, staying in school, avoiding gangs and downed power lines, preventing forest fires, reading books, respectin’ yo’ mama, and whatnot. And you know what? I’m glad they did. My parents, teachers, and coaches were always warning me about this stuff, but frankly, was I going to listen to them? As if! I needed an advisor I could trust.  And so when an otherwise zany celeb broke it down all serious-like for me, I listened.

A tip of the hat to all of the celebrities who kept me and my similarly upstanding peers on the straight and narrow. And when you see a modern celeb prattling on in a condescending manner about this or that cause, remember that it’s nothing new. It’s for your own good.

What were some of your favorite PSAs?

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About missblissindc

Miss Bliss lives, works, and reminisces about the golden age of her youth in the Midwest from the DC area. She’s a Scorpio, but only in the good senses of that term. To share your 1980s/1990s mem’ries, e-mail missblissindc@gmail.com.
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