Oh, hello, Popular Girl. I like your Guess? sweatshirt, with its iconic triangular logo, which is naturally reflected on the back of your jeans. And that red scrunchie in your hair is perfectly evocotive of Heathers. Yes, you can count me as impressed, and among your faithful.
Oh, this? Well, I’m flattered you noticed. This is my official Les Mis national touring cast T-shirt. Hmm? Sorry…my mistake. I should have said Les Miserables, as in the blockbuster Broadway musical about the French Revolution, which I recently saw in Indy. Yeah, Indianapolis. At the Murat Theatre. You may be aware that Les Mis is based on the eponymous novel by Victor Hugo. Oh, you weren’t aware of that. Well…that’s OK. You’re not in AP English.
Maybe if you’re interested, you can borrow my double-CD original cast recording sometime…I mean, I already have each word and each part memorized, so it’s not like I need it. Yeah, that’s right. Every word, note-perfect. I know them all by heart: Joseph, Phantom, Evita, Fiddler, Sweeney, Miss Saigon. It’s hard to pick a favorite. I mean, you should see my cousin and I when we get going on “The Confrontation“…it’s as impressive as it is hilarious! It was totally the highlight of our New Year’s Eve!
What’s that? Why yes…yes I have starred in several of these musicals right here at AHS. You probably saw my Tzeitel to Justin’s Motel in Fiddler. Yeah, we were second to last in curtain call in that one, but…you know. It’s just for fun.
Yeah, I’ll be sure to let you know when we’re having our next auditions. But I have to admit…the directors really look for people who know their musical theater. So you should really borrow that original cast recording sometime.
Oh, you can’t? Because you have a life? Hmm. I am sorry to hear that. Maybe next year.
This post is, of course, dedicated to my cousin, Jennifer…the Valjean to my Javert, the Cosette to my Eponine, the Mme. Thenardier to my M. Thenardier, and truly the love my my life. Sorry, Mr. Belding!