The Real ‘Chipmunks’ Movie

In 2007, the abomination that was Alvin and the Chipmunks was forced upon an already wearied world. I didn’t see this movie, but that didn’t stop me from resenting it. Why was Alvin wearing a hoodie with the hood pulled down too far in the posters? Why was this all Pixar-y instead of hand-drawn-animated-y? And why were the Chipettes singing Beyonce’s “Single Ladies?” I ask you…what could be worse than the Chipettes singing Beyonce’s “Single Ladies?” (For the alarming answer to this seemingly rhetorical question, click here.)

Besides, am I the only one who remembers that, as of 1987, we already had a Chipmunks movie?

And may I just say, The Chipmunks Movie has it all: musical numbers, world travel, hot-air balloons, fierce gendered competition, and sqeaky voices. What else does a Chipmunk movie need?

Plus, talk about educaitonal value. This movie taught me what cous-cous was.

Enjoy, and happy long weekend!

Profiles in Cool Flavor…Profiles: Blue Raspberry

Anyone who has watched more than one episode of Bravo’s Top Chef is all-too familiar with the term “flavor profiles.” Using the phrase “flavor profiles” is really just an obnoxious way to describe what food tastes like.

Well, when it comes to celebrating the “flavor profiles” of yesteryear, I’d like to start with a wildly popular and undeniably cool choice: Blue Razzberry Blow Pops.

I remember these bad boys being released to the masses in about seventh grade. Our computer teacher sold these during class, when he wasn’t busy leering at preteen girls. Soon after these became popular, it set off a “blue rasberry” trend that is still sweeping the nation today, with both candies and even drinks.

As a girl who makes a point to order the stupidest drink possible from the “specialty cocktail” menu when the opportunity presents itself (to wit: the “Hello Kitty” at Sei), you bet I am familiar with the taste of blue raspberry liqueur. I’ll admit that. I’m not proud of it, but I will admit it.

Blue Raspberry is a flavor I generally associate with my little brother, who prefers sour/fruit/gum flavor to chocolate treats. This image goes out to Lil’ Bro:

So, Top Chef, you can keep your “New Orleans re-imagined” and “upscale down-home/modern home-style” flavor profiles. I’ll stick with blue raspberry.

So No One Told You Life Was Gonna Be This Way…

…(clap-clap-clap-clap!)

I’m not gonna hate. I loved Friends back in the ’90s. And I will totes still watch the occasional episode on TBS or whatever. But staring deep into Ross’s “zanily” raised eyebrow in this photo…and gazing at Rachel’s “innocently beautiful” expression, and doing my best to just generally avoid looking at Joey altogether, I can’t help but feel ashamed that I just admitted to being sucked into this nonsense.

But instead of picking on all there is to mock about Friends (see, generally, the not characters but caricatures that were Phoebe, Monica, and the aforementioned Joey), I’m going to make a suggestion to the producers of Friends 2.0: Friendlier. (Because the way things are going these days, you just have to know they are going to do a “reboot” of this franchise*.)

My suggestion: Don’t make Ross and Monica siblings! Way to eliminate a possible romantic pairing, there, show. Come on, we all know the real reason we watched Friends was to see if Ross and Rachel ended up together, if Monica and Chandler would get married, and whether Phoebe and Joey were secretly doin’ it. And let’s admit it: while none of us were rooting for the red herring that was the Rachel/Joey storyline, at least it was some action!

So think about it…if the characters of Ross and Monica had not been siblings, but had merely been “friends,” there would have been more pairing situaitons. Not that I necessarily would have put them together, but you see what I mean.

So, now that I’ve opened up a whole new world of awesome, I present to you my proposed cast of Friends 2.0: Friendlier:
Rachel Green=Rachel McAdams
Monica Geller=Katy Perry
Phoebe Buffay=Amanda Seyfried
Chandler BING!=Chace Crawford
Ross Gellar=a bowl of tepid oatmeal
Joey Tribbiani=The Situation

*Yeah, I said “franchise.” What, you forgot about the masterpiece that was Joey?

Earworm o’ the Day

This song, and this video, makes me long for the days of “anything goes.” Does it make sense? No. Is it awesome? Yes.

Miss Bliss Upgrades to Mrs. Belding!

Yes, it’s true, my darlings. Mr. Belding popped the question! Miss Bliss will soon become Mrs. Belding!

It’s Valentine’s Day, and today’s post was supposed to be a tribute to Mr. B. But I can’t help but share our joy with the world. Let my try to convey my happiness and gratitude by dedicating a very special song to Mr. Belding, to thank him not only for loving me, but for the most fabulous ring I have ever seen, ever: Prince and the New Power Generation’s “Diamonds and Pearls“.

D to the I to the A to the M…O to the N to the D to the pearls of love…you know it!

Ahem. OK, back to love and gratitude and such. Love is patient, love is ki…

Oh wait! Let’s look at dresses instead, OK?

I think it would be fitting if Miss Bliss were to revel in some ’80s glory on her wedding day, don’t you? To wit:

Princess Diana, clearly the gold standard of ’80s wedding inspiration…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The subtle elegance of Bo and Hope from Days of Our Lives

And finally, it just wouldn’t be fitting for me not to be inspired by my namesake, Laura from General Hospital. No, I’m not kidding. I seriously was named after Laura from GH, and for Laura Ingalls Wilder. Stop laughing, because it’s honestly not a joke.

Happy Valentine’s Day, dear readers, and everyone in the whole world!

The Perfectest Herald of Joy

One of my favorite Shakespeare quotes, from Much Ado About Nothing, uttered by the otherwise useless Claudio, is this:
“Silence is the perfectest herald of joy: I were but little happy, if I could say how much.”

Well, that’s sweet. But had Shakespeare lived into our days, surely he would have written Much Ado About Nothing II: Doin’ the ‘Do, so that he might amend that line to this:
“‘Safety Dance’ is the most perfectest herald of joy: I were but little happy, if my happiness were not best expressed by Men Without Hats.”

Yesterday, something really good happened, something that I will be free share in this space tomorrow. For now, please enjoy “Safety Dance,” and may it and life bring you every bit of hapiness they have brought me.

Valentine’s Day Prep

OK, so Valentine’s Day is coming up, and as a child of the ’80s…a child of any day, really…you know what preparation that brings: Constructing a Valentine’s Day “mailbox” to put on your desk during the elementary school party. These cardboard-and-glitter masterpieces had value far beyond a catchall for perforated animated character cards with hastily scrawled signatures…they also were busywork to keep the kids occupied while the teachers took a much-needed half-hour break.

(Which is precisely why my French teacher had us make them in class. In high school.)

Here’s a modern-day take featuring Dora and assorted other current cartoon characters:

Now, in my elementary school, there were rules about Valentines…specifically, you had to give one to EVERYONE in the class, you couldn’t pick and choose and leave people out. But of course one would reserve the large/glittery/cool/pretty Valentines for your friends and/or your crush.

Here’s a little something for all the girls and boys out there. (I love that the Transformers Valentines come with heart stickers, because the Transformers themselves are in no way loving or romantic!)

As Monday’s post will most likely be dedicated specifically to Mr. Belding (spoiler alert!), here’s a big gift of love from me to you: