Everything I Do, I Do it for the Guitar Solo at 2:48

Everything I Do, I Do it for You

Mr. Belding occasionally pops in a Rod Stewart greatest hits CD when we’re on the road. I always protest, but secretly I love hearing The Hot Rod because it brings back mem’ries of making fun of him and his videos with my sister back in the day.

Anyway…remember that song he put out with Sting and Bryan Adams on “The Three Musketeers” soundtrack? Don’t worry–that WILL be a post someday. But today I want to focus on Bryan Adams himself.

Behold the majesty of “Everything I Do, I Do it For You,” a song I used to love so much that I begged my mom to let us stay at the pool until it finished blasting on the stereo near the diving well. I also spent actual money on the sheet music. I’m going to re-learn that song someday and serenade my beloved.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the video as much as I do, specificially:
1) Bryan Adams is sporting denim on denim in the opener
2) The “intrigued” look in Maid Marian’s eyes at about :43 when she espies Costner’s “butt double”
3) Marian blowing in Robin’s ear right before he shoots an arrow at 1:10
4) At about 2:20, I’m like, “How did I forget that CHRISTIAN SLATER was in this POS?!”
5) The guitar solo at 2:48 with the guitarist’s long hair blowing in the wind, which is my LIFE right now
6) The silent scream of “ROBIN!” at 3:10
7) The desperate kiss before fade to black.

If I’ve missed anything noteworthy, please let me know in the comments!

What the World Needs Now

So…this is awkward. I left without so much as a “BRB” or a “I’m shutting this mother down,” but gentle readers, surely you understand…Miss Bliss was engaged, she planned a wedding, and said wedding was, well, blissful. She got busy. She had lots of thank you notes to write. And so the dream that was Zack Morris Cell Phone was laid aside without fanfare, the abandonment was unplanned. Like the last time you wore a choker or a bodysuit…did you KNOW it was the last time you were going to wear a choker or a bodysuit?

But lately, as life has calmed down a bit, my thoughts have turned back to ZMCP, to nostalgia, to comments and memories shared by readers and fellow bloggers, and most importantly, to things we need to bring back in 2012. After all, according to John Cusak*, 2012 marks the end of days. Shouldn’t we go out in style?

Resolved in 2012: What the World Needs Now

1) Luther Vandross, for obvious reasons, most notably the stylish solid-color jackets he wore in his videos.

2) Jolly Ranchers, in packs of silver-foil wrapped SQUARES, with the LEMON flavor included, thankyouverymuch.

3) Brenda Walsh. For EVERYTHING.

4) And while we’re on the subject as twenty- and thirtysomethings masquerading as high schoolers, La Abdul’s finest cinematic moment–not to mention the only palatable deployment of Keanu’s “acting” career. (And don’t argue about “Bill and Ted,” he’s not acting in that, he didn’t even know they were filming.
http://youtu.be/LNPb931HqeM

*’s character in the film 2012

Livin’ on the Edge

Today, Life posed a question: “What could be edgier than Miley Cyrus’s dream-catcher tattoo?”

And there is only one answer…Nelson’s “(Can’t Live Without Your) Love and Affection” video!

I miss the ’90s, my friend Erica’s after-school hospitality, and this song being on the radio.

T.G.I.F.

Well, lambs, it’s Friday. And all I can say is…T.G.I.F.

Now, I could go two different ways with this post. I could either celebrate the finest in American televised entertainment:

…or I could celebrate the finest in American haute cuisine:

How do I pick a topic that would be more cheerful and uplifting to discuss on this beautiful day? T.G.I.F. on ABC in the ’90s (Full House, Family Matters, Perfect Strangers, Just the Ten of Us) or T.G.I. Fridays, the establishment that first taught me to treat potato skins as snacks, and the originator of Flair?

It’s too difficult. I’d sooner choose a favorite star in the sky. So today, I lift a frosted Mudslide in a toast to both employees in red-and-white striped shirts AND the four-punch of comedies that kept me laughing and aware of what was stylish during every Friday of my fourth-grade life.

T.G.I.F., everybody!

I am an Authority on Amy Grant

So, last night, Mr. Belding and I were having a conversation about Amy Grant. (Note: When I make a statement like that, it’s best not to question it, dear readers. Let’s just keep moving, shall we?) And he apparently didn’t realize that Miz Grant sang anything other than gospel/Christian music.

Now, it is widely assumed that Mr. Belding is smarter than yours truly, because he has a degree in chemical engineering from UVA, he outscored me on the SAT, etc., etc. But that’s just a lazy assumption. If you scratch the surface, you’ll find that *I* am actually smarter than Mr. B, because (for example) I can name all the members of the Supreme Court AND all the members of the Backstreet Boys, N*Sync, and NKOTB. And clearly, I have wicked street smarts, because I know Amy Grant sang such secular hits as “Baby Baby”:

Do you know that when I stated with authority that Amy Grant sang “Baby Baby” and hummed a few bars for his listening pleasure, Mr. Belding had THE AUDACITY to question me? “Are you sure Amy Grant sings that?”

B*tch said WHAT? OF COURSE I’M SURE! You think a Midwestern tweenager in the ’90s is going to forget a perm like that? Or that hat? Or those romantic antics?

Here’s to you, Amy Grant. To me, you are unforgettable.

‘These Have Always Brought Me Luck…’

Heaven gained a voluptuous, jewel-encrusted, arched-eyebrow angel a few days ago when the world lost Elizabeth Taylor. La Taylor is basically the world’s most perfect movie star. Affairs, multiple marriages, great cleavage, a matchless jewelry collection, friendships with the likes of Michael Jackson and Elton John, an Academy Award, and stunning beauty. They really don’t make them like her anymore.

But we here at Zack Morris Cell Phone cherish Liz Taylor primarily for her contributions to the world of celebrity fragrance. No, she wasn’t the first actress/star to have her own scent, but she pretty much did it best. White Diamonds and Passion…this woman meant business. She paved the way for the Debbie Gibsons, Paula Abduls, Britneys, and Sarah Jessica Parkers of the world to carry the torch of celebrity fragrance into the next century.

But no one, NO ONE will ever deliver a better celeb fragrance commercial. I don’t care how much Vaseline Britney or Sarah Jessica or Mariah rubs on a camera lens. They will never begin to approach the glamour of Elizabeth Taylor in the White Diamonds commercials. Say it with me: “These have always brought me luck…”

What the World Needs Now is ’90210′ as a Music Platform

Happy Friday, chickens. If you’re anything like me, you’ve had Rebecca Black’s earnest adolescent anthem/YouTube phenomenon “Friday” stuck in your head almost all day. Don’t get me wrong, I am not here to disparage Ms. Black or her song. After all, she’s just pursuing her dreams and encouraging us to look forward to the weekend. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with that!

Besides…shouldn’t detractors such as TIME.com be focusing not on Ms. Black’s performance, but rather that of the fully-grown “rapper” who randomly appears to give the video it’s “street cred”?

Anyway, it’s not Ms. Black’s fault that the music world has lost it’s way. We’ve turned to YouTube and MySpace performances to know what the next “new” artist or group will be not because of the failure of even the music industry itself, but rather because we’ve lost our guiding light when it comes to discovering new talent: Planting artists on Beverley Hills, 90210.

Just a few examples of the stars of yesteryear, who skyrocketed to either longstanding or short-lived fame because of their appearances at the Peach Pit:

Fergie, once a part of Wild Orchid:

Brian McKnight and Vanessa Williams, singing a track of the 90210 soundtrack:

(Unfortunately, I couldn’t find the actual Peach Pit performance, but hopefully many of you guys will remember it.) And finally, the general inspiration of this post…proof that Ms. Black is hardly the first to lyrically remind us of what the days of the week are:

That’s right, y’all. EVEN ON SUNDAY.